A New Focus
by tfnmal23
Summary: Kate's therapist suggested that she find a way to express herself. So along with her friends she finds a new focus.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, but I sure like to mess with him through Kate of course.**

**A/N: This takes place shortly after Linchpin and she develops her skills during our 3 week Hiatus Castle fans. Kate is smart and seeing as she's already been kind of playing guitar like the end of episode 3x14, I feel she can pick it up pretty quickly and be able to at least play some folk songs. I'm a self-taught guitar player myself and once I learned the chords at least I could look the rest up online. Check out some of my YouTube videos if you get time tfnmal23! Thanks for reading and please comment! As always I appreciate you!**

**Author's apology: Goodness, I thought I edited this before sending and I DID NOT. Shut the front door, right? Well I apologize and I've went through and fixed it. Oh and I didn't tell you how long this will go. At first I was going for a one shot, but it will definitely be less than 5 chapters. Enjoy!**

Kate walks into Dr. Burke's office for her weekly hour session with the good doctor. It isn't always her favorite hour of her day, but she is really trying to make a valiant effort to get passed her scars, PTSD in general and move on to a real life; find who she is.

"Good Morning, Kate." She has her to go coffee in hand.

"Good Morning, Dr. Burke."

She takes her usual seat across from Dr. Burke. "So Kate, last time we talked you were trying to figure out a hobby. Did you come up with anything?"

"Actually at first, I'll admit, I found this 'homework' for lack of a better word really tough because I am so busy and really I don't have time for myself. So I asked my friend Lanie and Castle what they thought. Well of course they told me that I need to make time and they are right. So I thought about it this whole week and I came up with a couple things that I would like to work on that might help me. One is writing. Maybe a diary, poems, thoughts, etc. and the other learning to play guitar. I have a guitar that was a gift from my father and I've always wanted to learn and it will be challenging for me."

"That's great. I'm glad that you asked for help from others also. That is a huge step to recovery, Kate. So otherwise, how is everything else going? It sounds like you are bridging the gaps in relationships with friends, so that is good news."

"Everything is going great actually. I've been sleeping great. No nightmares in a long time."

"Well unless you have anything else you would like to discuss, I think you should head out and plan time for your new found hobbies and see where it leads you."

"Ok great. I'm really looking forward to it. See you next week."

"See you next week."

(…)

Kate grabbed a cab and made her way home from Dr. Burke's office. She had just got into the cab and gave the driver her address, when her phone rang. She answered it.

"What do you want, Castle?"

"Ouch," she can't still be mad at him for changing the music in her new cruiser from the CIA. She knows he touches things, so that shouldn't have been a surprise. Except when she yelled at him to stop, he got that she was annoyed. And she sounds annoyed now.

"I'm sorry. I forget sometimes how sensitive you are," she rolled her eyes and hoped he could sense her sincerity and sarcasm.

"Ha, funny, look I wanted to know if you want to get breakfast this morning. I want to show you the new cover art for the next book and see if you approve."

"You never asked my opinion on the first 3 books, so why all of a sudden my opinion matters?"

"Well things are different now, plus you are cute when you are angry, but not when you are angry at me. So I'm minimizing my ways of making you angry if at all possible."

"Haha," she let out a cute laugh and Castle felt some weight lifted off this conversation they were having.

"So what do you say?"

"I'm on my way home now, so I can change my direction. Where are we meeting?"

"Ok, another confession. I'm cooking right now, so come to the loft," he waited for her to banter more or say no. He got the opposite.

"Okay, I'll be there in 20. And Castle?"

"Mmm, yeah?"

"I like my eggs scrambled and I don't like them cold," she hung up the phone and smiled. Then she told the driver the new destination.

(...)

Kate rings the doorbell at Castle's loft. He quickly makes his way to the door.

"Good Morning, Detective, may I take your coat?"

"Mmm, yeah," she looks at him weirdly, "Castle, why are you so hyper?"

"I don't know. I'm happy to see you, but no time for small talk. Your eggs are ready as you requested."

She thinks to herself that she really needs to stop beating the poor guy up. How much more of her verbal abuse can this guy take? Their sexual tension and verbal banter is cute and she loves it, but she knows there is something real there under all of that. She knows this is a relationship she doesn't want to lose and she needs to work on her feelings in order for it to work.

She needs to start with letting down her defenses because when hers are up, so are his and if this happens neither of them will move forward.

She smiles at him, "Thank you. I'm starving. I could get used to this."

"Yeah? Well we have breakfast here every morning and you know where I live," he flirted back just enough for the invitation, but didn't spell forever to send her to grab her coat, leave for the elevator in 5 seconds flat.

"So let me see this cover art?"

He jetted to his office and came back with his lap top. "Paula just sent me this," as he placed the laptop in front of her on the counter.

"Is she naked again, Castle?"

"Why do you keep asking me that? You get the same answer, plus she isn't really naked, naked. It's a silhouette."

She nodded in agreement that he had a point, "So Frozen Heat, huh? Kind of an oxymoron, isn't it? I like it and the blue color. Love that."

"Yeah, I picked out the color myself this time. I think it grabs attention and goes well with the title. I'm glad you like it. Thanks."

She smiles as he closes his lap top and she thinks that more and more this was just a ploy to not eat breakfast alone. Kate knows that Castle isn't much of a loner, so although her opinion matters the real truth is that he just needed her company. They finished their breakfast together and took a cab to the precinct. There wasn't a victim yet, but day was still young.

(...)

They've been at the precinct for two hours now and no bodies have dropped, but a detective's job doesn't stop there. The dreadful paperwork was always waiting in the aftermath of closing cases and there were many times they got called into court to testify or called to give a deposition. Kate had an appointment for just that for a case in about an hour. Castle was coming back to her desk with two cups of coffee and he placed on down in front of her. She smiled at him, "Thank you."

"Where have you been?"

He raised his eyebrows in question and almost to show on his face. 'Did she sound like my wife right there?'

She placed her hands flat down on her desk and glared at him, "Not like that." He smiled and she rolled her eyes trying to hide her smile because he got to her. He's doing a lot more of that these days.

"Oh, Ryan was showing me how to use the new gadgets because...well you know I love toys," he smiled and took a sip of his coffee.

"Don't you have something better to do today? I mean, errands to run or writing?"

"Well you have that appointment, right? So I've got something to do with Esposito, if no bodies drop that is."

"Oh boy. I don't want to know."

"Kate, when you women say you don't want to know, it means you do, please. It isn't only men. I'm on to you."

"Really?" she glared at him.

"Yep, I'll change the subject to save you. How did your appointment with Dr. Burke go? Did you figure out a hobby? Are you finally going to take my advice and moonlight; cop by day, stripper by night?"

"As much as you have been fantasizing about that since you suggested it the first time, no I've thought of something still "hot", but not as demeaning," as she leaned in to tease him. What was she doing? She hadn't sexually teased him at all since she's known how he really feels about her. It dawned on her so she quickly sat back in her seat and looked down at her paperwork.

Castle dismissed it for now, but only because he wanted to genuinely hear about this idea she has.

"No seriously, Kate. I really want to know."

"Well, I have my guitar, the one you've seen at my apartment. Well, I want to take lessons. Ok, judge away."

"Really? That's pretty cool. I have no judgment here. Detective Beckett, you're still a mystery I may never solve," he stood up because he knew she needed to get going, "Well I'm going to head out. Talk to you later?"

"Yes, talk to you later."

"Oh, before I forget," he walked back up to her desk and leaned in close to her, "It is still hot. I agree." He left in the other direction to the elevator this time.

Kate just rolled her eyes at his sexual reference to her new hobby idea.

(...)

"Beckett" she answers her phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey, how did your deposition go?"

"Ah, it was longer than expected," her voice sounded tired and distance, but then there is a surprise, "How was your date with Esposito?"

"Oh and just when I thought you had no life in you. Look, what time will you be done with your paperwork? I know you are there and yawning because Ryan just texted me, so he should be bringing you a coffee in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...now." Ryan sets the coffee down on her desk and walks off. "So, when Kate?"

"Umm, I...," she shakes her head. 'Is he for real?'

"Hello? Kate?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm almost done. Maybe 30 minutes."

"Perfect! Ok, come to my place when you are done. I have a surprise for you."

"Castle, I'm tired and I really just want to go home to sleep."

"Kate, I know you are tired and that is why I had Ryan bring you coffee. I'm your permanent caffeine gopher, but don't make me beg, plus you'll ruin your surprise."

"I...I," she tried to make the words come out.

"I know you hate surprises, but you will like this one. Trust me."

"Okay, I will come over, but you will be responsible for my grumpy mood."

"Yes! You are going to love it!"

(...)

Kate steps out of the elevator on the floor to Castle's loft. She'll admit that she would rather not go home to her apartment alone. It's still early in the evening and she usually stays at the precinct until it is late enough to just go home to sleep. If she sits at home alone for too long, the thoughts in her head will take over, so there is no better time than the present to start this new hobby. She actually can't wait. She rings the doorbell at the loft.

"Kate, come in. Let me get your coat." He hung up her coat in the closet. He grabbed her by the hand and brought her into the living room. "I know you are tired, but I cooked and I have a surprise for you. After, I will take you home. I promise." He puts his hands on her shoulders and placed her down on the couch gently.

"Castle, you are kind of freaking me out."

"Why?"

"Well you are kind of hyper and excited."

"Oh, something that you don't know about me is that I love surprises. Giving and receiving them."

"Oh, I've known that about you. How can I not with your boyish immaturity? At times..."

"So I hope you like spaghetti and meat sauce, I'll be right back," he scurried to the kitchen to get their plates and back again for the wine and glasses. "Wine?"

"Yes, please. Where is Martha and Alexis?"

"Alexis is at internship #1 or #2, who knows? I can't keep up with her. Mother is at the acting studio teaching a class and I'm a little worried about this play she wrote, but let's not talk about that because I will need something stronger than this wine."

"Haha Castle, it sounds like the women in your life are very busy and you brought me here because you didn't want to eat alone."

"True, but I still have a surprise for you that will be here soon, so eat up buttercup," he winked and she glared.

"Don't call me buttercup, even if we were dating, that nickname wouldn't be appropriate ever," 'Oh my God, what did I just say?' as she took a big pull off of the wine.

"Dating, huh?" he couldn't leave it alone of course. 'Let's see how she was going to fish herself out of this one?'

Doorbells rings and she's off the hook…for now.

A young man is standing in the doorway to Castle's loft. Castle greets him and takes his coat. He walks him over to Kate.

"Detective Beckett, ah Kate, this is Dylan," Kate reached out to shake his hand. "Dylan is going to give you guitar lessons and if you both would excuse me for one second," he runs into his office and comes out with a guitar case. "Kate, I know you have a guitar and everything, but I got you this one, a really awesome one with a case and it comes with other stage equipment too. Anyway, check it out."

Kate gets up off the couch to go around the coffee table where he sat it down. She opened it up and it was a beautiful Taylor guitar, shiny, wooden grains just popping out. Screaming out for Kate to pick it up and she did. She held it in her hands and sat down in a chair in the living room. The feel of it was almost perfect and it fit better than the one her Dad gave to her. She would still keep it, but this guitar was just made for her. She finally looked up at Castle after reveling in the guitars looks and feel.

"Castle, this is amazing, but probably cost a fortune. I'll pay you back."

"No way, partner. It's a gift."

"Castle, it isn't my birthday and it isn't Christmas."

"Well what's the next holiday, St. Patrick's Day? There ya go," he laughed.

She glared and said, "I'm not Irish."

"Well I want you to have it. It looks like you were born to have it. Dylan here is going to give you lessons. Dylan, she is a quick study and she won't give up. This is a perfect challenge for her, so I'm going to clean up and leave you guys to it."

"Great, Mr. Castle," Dylan took his guitar out of his case and sat down across from Kate.

"If you guys need anything, I'll be in the kitchen or the office." he walked off all pleased with himself because the look on Kate's face was priceless. He hopes that he can keep surprising her with stuff because that girlish grin is nothing short of spectacular. Her happiness is what keeps him coming back and keeping hope alive.

(…)

After about an hour, Dylan left and Kate walked into Castle's office. He was writing, typing away on his laptop. He looked up as she walked in. She sat down in the chair across from him.

"So how did it go?"

"It was pretty awesome. I remember quite a few chords from when I learned in school and he is really a great teacher. I really love music and I kind of forget that with every day life getting in the way. I really want to make time for this because it does help me concentrate and focus on other things rather than my own thoughts which is good."

"That's awesome. I can't wait until I can hear you play me a song."

"Oh, I don't think so." Castle closed his laptop and got up from his desk.

"Well I can dream, so let's go. I'll take you home. You must be tired."

"I am, but I can just take a cab, Castle. You don't need to take me."

"Actually, why don't you stay in the Guest room? It's late. We can watch TV or a movie and I can get you clothes from Alexis' room."

"Man, you are desperate for company, aren't you?"

"Well if that gets you to stay, then I am desperate for company and this is going to get worse once Alexis goes to school. You need to find me another friend."

"Oh even if I did, I wouldn't be able to get rid of you. I've tried," she laughed as they walked out of the office and back into the living room.

"Ouch, that hurts."

"You know I'm only kidding. I told you that I've gotten used to you pulling my pigtails as I recall, which classifies as teasing on the playground, so you know what goes around comes around on the playground. Fair game," she smiled at him.

"That's very true. So?" he falls down into the couch.

She sits down on the couch too. "So? You don't honestly think that I'm going to let you buy me a guitar and pay for the lessons too? I mean, really? It's not right."

"Oh my goodness Kate, I wanted to do something nice for you. You are my friend, my partner and I want to do something nice for you. It has no hidden meaning behind it, but when you told me about it today I called Dylan because I figured you hadn't arranged a teacher yet. That's all. The guitar is really the gift. I will let you pay for the lessons if it makes you feel better, but my intentions were to just help you, as a friend."

"I'm sorry. I'm just so stubborn and I'm not good at accepting gifts. I've been told before."

"Well you better get used to it because I love giving them and if we are friends you will be getting more gifts. You know, it isn't about the fact that I can because I have money, it is because I love how happy it makes people and that is all that matters. I've kind of grown up with that and I've been trying to do good things with my money."

"Awe, that's sweet. Okay, well I accept the guitar as my gift, but I'll pay for the lessons. Actually, I was surprised at how well I've picked up on it that I may not need the lessons for long. Thank you though, Castle. I really appreciate it."

"So are you so tired that you want to go to sleep? Do you want me to get you those clothes to change into? I think I am going to change and watch Money Ball. It's supposed to be good."

"Yeah, I'll take those clothes and I'll watch for a little bit, but I'm not going to last. I didn't sleep well last night thinking about that case that we closed last week."

"You too. Phew, I'm glad because that was a rough one to see. That is why I was freaking out about Alexis' internship. I write about murder in my books, but I can leave a lot out of the details and you still get the picture. When a dead body is right in front of you, it's a little tough."

"You know, it is easier talking about it. Just talk to her about it and it's good to get it out. I guess like we are doing. It helps."

"Yeah, maybe you are right. Come on, you can change upstairs in the bathroom." She followed him up the stairs and into Alexis' room.

"Are you sure that Alexis is going to be cool with this?"

"Yeah of course. She loves you." He hands her the clothes and leads her to the bathroom. "I'm going to change and I'll meet you back in the living room."

"Okay."

He ran back downstairs to change and he grabbed a couple blankets from the hallway closet. He moved the coffee table out of the way and he began removing all of the cushions from the couch. She starts walking downstairs in a black t-shirt and black addidas pants that belonged to Alexis.

"Castle, what are you doing?"

"Alexis and I always do this when we watch a movie. You know, I really should just get an air mattress. It probably isn't good for the cushions, right?"

"You are such a kid," she laughed. "Okay, I'm definitely going to fall asleep now. Just promise me you will wake me up, so Alexis and Martha don't find me passed out in the living room. That would be an awful sight."

"Okay, deal. Here's a blanket and a pillow for you. You take those cushions over there. I've got these ones."

She laid down on her cushions and he laid down on his cushions. The lights are out except for the lights coming from the kitchen, they are dim, but it isn't completely dark. He pressed play on the remote. Kate probably last about 20 minutes into the movie and she was out. Castle bounced back and forth watching her sleep and watching the movie. He debated on whether he should wake her now and get her up to the spare room or just let her sleep. He'd hate to wake her and she not being able to sleep afterwards, so he decided to just leave her be. She rolled on her side to face him, still asleep and her right arm fell off the cushion between her cushions and his. He reached for her hand to place back up near her body, but she subconsciously held his hand. He didn't mind, so he just continued to hold her hand and watch the movie. Not long after he was asleep and must have rolled off his cushions towards Kate. At least, that is how Alexis found them, when she came home. She shut off the TV and the amusement center. She smiled down at them while tip toeing around them trying not to wake them. As she stepped past her father, she noticed he was holding her hand. She was shocked. She thought had something changed with Det. Beckett and her Dad and she missed something. Well it could have because she detected a little jealousy coming from Kate in the autopsy room not long ago. She thought about just leaving it alone, but what if her Dad over stepped his boundaries and then Kate would be fighting with him. And she knows he doesn't do well when Kate is mad at him. She decided to wake him. She tapped his shoulder.

"Dad, wake up," she nudged him.

"Hey sweetie," he looked up at her. Still holding Kate's hand and then there was movement coming from Kate. Her eyes opened and Castle and Alexis' eyes were peering at her.

"Hey," Castle spoke first. "I fell asleep too."

"Castle, why are you holding my hand? Hey Alexis."

"Hi, I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to wake Dad because he'll complain about his back all day tomorrow if he sleeps down here." She's hoping it was quick enough change of subject and a cover for her father's hand holding. He released Kate's hand before Alexis even spoke.

"She's right. Let's go to bed," he held out his hand to help Kate up. She accepted the assistance.

Alexis grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and kissed her father good night. "Good Night, Kate," she said and she made her way up to her room.

"Castle, she seemed fine finding me here sleeping next to you on the floor?" her brows were raised up in question.

"Yeah, why wouldn't she be?"

"I don't know. Forget I said that. I'm still half asleep," she helped him put all the cushions back on the couch and the chairs.

"Kate, at some point we are going to work on you being more direct. We aren't going to start tonight, but we are going to work on it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't play coy with me. You know exactly what I mean. You start to explain something and then back out of it, just like now. But you aren't going to pick a fight with me tonight and walk out. I'm going to show you to your room and we can talk another time."

"Castle?"

"Nope," he grabbed her arm to bring her along. His warm hands against her back, he directed her up the stairs and safely got her to her room. He went inside and turned the light on the nightstand. He sat her down on the bed.

"Castle?"

"Nope, not now. Good night, Kate."

She knew he was right, but she needed to sleep. At this point, all she can give him is that she is working on it. He doesn't look at it as progress right now, but compared to how she used to be. He's lucky that she is in his loft, staying the night and she will be there at breakfast when they wake up. That's huge for her. She'll explain to him tomorrow. She fell right to sleep once she hit the pillow.

(…)

Kate woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking and to her surprise she actually slept pretty well. She had to admit she was worried because she started a pressing conversation with Castle last night she didn't finish it. This would normally be the time that she runs to Dr. Burke to see if he has a special remedy to "fix" her magically. Well it didn't work well and she got the help of her friends, like Esposito last time. She isn't sure who can help her this time. She wishes it was so easy for her to open up to him. She sat up in the bed and thought, 'I trust him, I know he loves me, clearly although he doesn't know I know, I know he is a great man, and he's her silver lining man. So maybe I should just try it again. Try to tell him what I was going to tell him before he left for the Hamptons that summer. Tell him that it is very hard to let on what's on my mind, but tell him I need him.' She was deep in thought when there was a knocked at the door.

"Kate, are you awake?" Alexis asked through the door.

"Yes, you can come in," she smiled as Alexis peeked in through the crack of the door.

"Good Morning, Dad wanted me to check on you. He's cooking breakfast. I'll meet you downstairs," she smiled closing the door leaving Kate in the room.

(...)

"So is Kate up?" Castle asked Alexis as she came in the kitchen to hug her father.

"Yes, Dad. She's fine. You are so cute. You were adorable sleeping on the floor together last night," she decided to tease her Dad a little.

"Oh funny, little one," as he watched Alexis take a seat at the counter to start eating breakfast.

Kate came down the stairs with her clothes she wore yesterday. Even though she was wearing yesterday's clothes, she looked well rested and probably the best sight that Castle has seen in a long time. Yes, he was staring, plus Alexis took the opportunity to slap him back to reality telling him to stop before she noticed.

"Ah, Good Morning, Detective, Ah, I mean, Kate," he fumble his words and there definitely was a flag on this play. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' "Coffee?" as he sat the mug on the counter so she could take a seat next to Alexis.

"Yes, please. And bring on my scrambled eggs because I know you have them hiding over there somewhere," she smiled at the fact that she was able to joke before having caffeine in her. She tried to look past him at the stove to make sure she was right.

"Yep, coming right up," he smiled, sat his coffee mug down, spun around to fill her plate with her eggs. Her eggs; the ones he made just for her. Oh he's got it bad and is in deep.

He sat the plate down in front of her and her smile beamed back at him. Alexis' phone rings while she watching their intense gaze. She answers, "Castle. Yes, Dr. Parish, oh Lanie, right. Ok, a body. Address? Ok great. Be there in 20." She hangs up and both Kate and her Dad are staring at her.

"There's a body. That was Lanie, right?"

"Castle? You answer your phone as Castle now. Castle is me," he shrugs and pouts looking at Beckett for sympathy.

"Yes, there's a body, so I gotta go. Dad," she goes over to kiss him on the cheek and he is still pouting while leaning on the counter. 'This really is ruining the unit cohesion and coming a little close to home for his liking.' "Bye Kate"

"Bye Alexis," she waited for her to leave then, "Castle, let's go. Get dressed. Actually wait? Oh God, do you think Alexis will tell Lanie that I spent the night here," Kate looked at him in shock as she went to grab her coat from the closet and put her shoes on.

"Yes, she will probably tell her. But what's the big deal? It wasn't like that," he said.

"Well you and I both know that Lanie won't look it like that. I'm going to head to my place to change. When they call me with an address, I'll call you with the address. I just think it is better if we don't show up together."

"I don't know, Kate. Sometimes that makes it worse, but as you wish," she makes her way to the door. "See you later," he says as he closes the door.

(…)

Kate gets out of her Crown Vic and walks up to the crime scene. She sees Lanie filling out a report and Esposito meets her at the crime scene tape.

"Yo Beckett, nice of you to show up…where's Castle?," Esposito asks.

"He's coming. I just called him and he wasn't ready, so I came straight here," she replied.

"Uh huh, sure," he looked at her as if he knew something else. Kate walked passed him and dismissed his little look and comment.

"Hey Lanie, who do we got here?" she asked the medical examiner.

"Hey, where's your long lost puppy? Or should I say breakfast maker?" she smiled at Kate.

Lanie!" sharp and short, as if under her breath because she didn't want anyone to hear.

"What?"

"I'll talk to you later, but not here, please," and she rolled her eyes in Alexis' direction. Alexis wasn't paying attention to the conversation and she wanted to keep it that way.

"Ok, we've got multiple GSW at close range and Ryan has her ID and address."

"Ok, thank you. Now was that so hard."

(…)

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Hey, I'm just waiting for my partner to call me with an address," he smiled. "You forgot to call me."

"Castle, I didn't forget to call you. Alexis did tell Lanie, who told Esposito and Ryan, that I spent the night at your place last night, so you can thank me for sparing you the humiliation."

"Ah, I need to talk to her. Do you want me to talk to her?"

"I don't know, Castle. I'm going to talk to Lanie later to clear it up. But in the meantime, we've got a murder to solve, so let me fill you in. Oh and beware, there will be comments from the boys. They know too," he looked over his shoulder in their direction, but they weren't looking their way.

"Okay. Good to know. It looks like it is us against the world."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or the characters that live there.**

**A/N: Previously on A New Focus, haha, making it sound like the TV Show. I need help! I've got OCD for real. Previously, Kate had a brief conversation with her therapist. She's decided to learn guitar and Castle bought her a guitar. Now moving on with her new focus and where it will lead her.**

"Hey Lanie," Kate says as she walks up the sidewalk to meet her friend and gives her a hug.

"Hey girl," hugs her back and then asks, "Do you want to sit at a table or booth?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter. Probably a booth, huh?"

"Okay." They have a seat at their booth and the waiter places the menus down on the table. He took their drinks orders and then left to get them.

"So?" Kate says.

"Yeah so...spill it, what's going on with Writer Boy?"

"Ah, Writer Man you mean?"

"Oh so you aren't denying that something is going on?"

"Lanie, how can I deny that there is something there? You heard the conversation in the autopsy as well as Alexis. There is something there and has been for a long time, so yes you've been right all along. However, I'm terrified to screw things up with him because I have a very hard time letting someone in. But he has managed to dismantle my brick wall of cinder blocks and weasel himself right in. And I don't deny that I want him there at all, but I want to be completely whole for him and I'm still broken."

"Oh honey, I didn't mean to hit a nerve. Listen none of us are completely whole without the other people in our lives to fill the pieces. You are my friend and you fill a piece in my life. I think you and Castle do that for each other. None of us are perfect, but together we can be perfectly happy. And I see how happy he makes you."

Kate had tears welling up in eyes that were just looking for a direction to run down her cheeks, but she stopped them with a wipe under eyes.

"Lanie, he does...he really does make me happy. And I'm getting there. I look back at myself and how I was; I've made so many changes to prepare myself for him. I've also made so many changes to make myself better for me as well."

"Yes, you have and we all notice. So does Castle and he really cares about you. More than anyone I know cares for anyone."

"I know he does. Listen, what I wanted to talked to you about is that Alexis is working with you which is great, but must you talk to her about us, meaning Castle and I."

"Hey," she laughed, "You and Castle damaged your little secret with the performance in the autopsy room because ever since then she has been prying me for information. I haven't told her anything because there is nothing to tell. She's been spilling the beans to me though and I'm sorry. I did tell running-his-gums Javier Esposito and he told Ryan, so I'm guilty. I'm sorry." She smiled and hoped that Kate would forgive her.

"Well stop because I think it is bothering Castle a little because he used to be so forward and crack jokes, little sexual innuendos and now he is standoffish, quite and waits for my reaction to everything. And I want to figure out how I can bring out my feelings to him, but it just weird right now, ya know? So please. And nothing happened at his apartment last night. We ate dinner, started to watch a movie and we fell asleep."

"What about the hand holding? You left that out?" Kate just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah I left that out I purpose, so you could mess with me..." she paused with a smile and then got a serious look, "Oh there might be a lot more of that, so what you hear from Alexis, can you fan girl with me about it and not Javi, please?" Then she smiled taking a sip of her water.

"Ok that's fair."

...

While Kate was having her chat with Lanie, Castle went home for lunch with Alexis.

"Hey sweetie, can I talk to you?"

"Sure Dad, what's up?" she looked over her shoulder at him as she was reheating the chicken noodle soup they made the previous night.

"Now first, this has nothing to with you working at the Medical Examiner office, okay? I just, well you are right, what you said a few weeks ago about keeping things from you and then what you heard in the autopsy room."

"Ah Dad, I don't want to hear about all the people you've slept with. Please spare me."

"No, it's not like that. You were right that the lady at the docks wasn't just anybody. I did have a relationship with her in the past. Way before I met your mother."

"Ok, so why was Detective Beckett so upset and she called her your girlfriend?"

"Well you see Detective Beckett was jealous because she found out that she wasn't my only female muse that I shadowed," he had a little gloat on his face.

"Dad!" She hit him on the forearm. "That is so mean. Imagine if you were in her shoes and someone from her past walked back in to mess up what you've been working on?"

"Working on?" he asked with a question look on his face.

"Seriously? Are you living under a rock Dad?"

"Neither of you, meaning Kate nor you, has been dating anyone else, nor do you have any interest to do so, so she is working on getting herself ready to be with you. And you should be happy because you told me that she makes you happy."

"She does make me happy. Even when she is mad, she makes me happy because I know she cares." He gave Alexis a hug and then he said, "Thank God I've got you because this figure women out isn't a strong suit of mine and in case you haven't noticed Detective Beckett isn't the easiest woman to figure out."

"You certainly do have your work cut out for you, but I think she's worth it."

"Okay, so you can see why I am walking on eggshells because I don't want her to run away or push me away, so can your chatter with Lanie because it doesn't take much for Kate to get upset. And I see now she is working on it and I have to realize that she doesn't open up as quickly as I do, but I'm not giving up on her."

"Wait, chatter with Lanie?"

"Yeah, I mean I know that Lanie is in support of Kate and I, but knowing Kate she doesn't want to be front page news of the 12th precinct, so could chill out on talking about us because you tell Lanie what happens, Lanie tells Esposito and Esposito tell Ryan, then Gates kicks me out. So please?"

"Okay, Dad. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Just from now on if you need to know where we stand just ask me. No more secrets because I always told you the truth and I'm not going to change that."

He and Alexis finished their lunch, she went to meet Lanie because she was showing her how to pull a print of a body using the (smoky box look this up first) and he made his way back to the precinct to fill in Kate.

...

Castle hit the lobby of the precinct and gives a nod to the guy in uniform at the desk in the lobby then hits the button to go up. Just as he does the door open and there is Kate.

"Hey," he says as he steps inside the elevator.

"Hey, how did it go with Alexis?" as she looks up at him while pressing the floor they need again.

"Actually, we had a great talk and I think we are good from now on. No more workplace gossip. You?" he let out a little snicker.

"Same here. I think we're good."

"Great." He smiled with a relief because she seemed happy with the outcome and this gossip wouldn't them back to square one. "So, there are no criminals to bag, huh? What's up with the city that never sleeps?"

"Castle, despite that it is the most fun part of my job, bagging criminals; I don't wish to have a dead body."

"I'm sorry, but I think you need a secretary to do the paperwork because it is so boring." He shrugged his shoulders after making the statement.

"Are you offering?" she smiled at him and then walked off the elevator ahead of him towards her desk and he followed.

Finally, at her desk, "No, I'm not a cop and that is when I am so happy I am not."

She just laughed and remembered to herself the last time he made that statement.

"Castle, you can go home. All there is here is the dreadful paperwork that you dislike and have made known. Go and I'll call you later."

"Call me later? What for?"

"I...well, I have a lesson with Dylan at 6 and then, well after that I was wondering if you want to do something. There is a live band playing at the bar a couple blocks from my apartment. I would like to go and I was wondering if you would go with me. Esposito said they are new, but very good. They play blues, classic rock and some pop. What do you think?"

"Yeah, of course. I'd love to go. Do you want to get some food before or?"

"Why don't you eat before because it will be after 7 when I'm done with Dylan, but meet me at my apartment at say, 8? Sound good?"

"Sure. Well I'll see you later then." He tried to walk away from her desk normal without a holy-shit-did-just-ask-me-out look.

"See you later, Rick." And she just called him Rick.

...

Castle makes his way in the elevator up to Kate's apartment. He is finally standing outside and he knocks on the door. She answers the door all dressed and ready to go.

"Hey Castle," she stands out of the way to allow him to come in.

"Hey, I know I'm a little early," he noticed she was already ready to go.

"Oh no, I'm almost ready. I just need to get my shoes and I'm ready." He admired her dress as she walked away from him towards her room. Her dress was black and shaped her every curve. He tried not to stare and he knew it was a very good thing she had her back to him.

"Okay. Take your time. Hey, how did your lesson go?" He looked over near the couch where her guitar case was leaning up against the wall. There was some sheet music on the coffee table.

She yelled from her room, "Oh it was so awesome. I played Blind Melon's song No Rain and Eagle Eye Cherry's Save Tonight."

"No way. That's great. I didn't think that Dylan was old enough for some 90's Classics," he laughed as she came back into the room.

She comes out with her hands to her right ear, closing the clamp to the back of her earring. He's standing back to her and she admires him in his designer jeans that were obviously made just to fit him she thought. He is also wearing his brown leather jacket that she absolutely loves and she smiles looking at the floor. "Actually, you would be surprised. Dylan loves a lot of the old classics and he loves teaching them."

"Well I would have thought by his age that you would be learning Jonas Brothers or Justin Bieber," he smiled as he turned to her and she was taken back a little. She could smell his cologne and now see his dazzling blue eyes, then that smile that warmed her heart every time he showed it to her.

She caught herself, "Well are you ready to go?"

"Yes, let's go," he took her coat from her arm and put in on for her. She reached back to pull her long, wavy locks out from under the coat collar.

…

Now at the bar, they checked their coats at the door and Castle grabbed both of check stubs. He put them in his pants pocket and then placed his hand on the small of Kate's back to lead her into the room.

"Do you want to get drinks and I'll get us a table down front? I want to be able to watch them play," she turned to say to him.

"Okay, I'll meet you there."

He walked up to the bar to order two very dry martinis and then he made his way down to the table in front of the stage. There he found her sitting on the edge of her chair with her elbows on the table, she was totally engulfed with the band playing on the stair. The lights from the stage were reflecting off of her face and she was so happy, swaying to the music in her seat. He placed the drink in front of her.

"Thank you," he sat down in his chair across from her, but the band was behind him so she said, "Pull your chair over here next to me. That way you can see." And of course he never resists a time to be close to her. He's just so happy to be with her whether it is a date or not. What he does know is that they aren't undercover and this isn't for a case they are working on.

The band is made up of a woman lead singer and she plays acoustic guitar, then there is a guy on drums and a guy on base guitar. They seemed to be well established with some locals following them because after the song was finished they took a brief break and many people in the bar went up to talk to them. From what Castle has noticed is that they are more on the acoustic, alternative and also folk style of music and everyone seemed to enjoy their music.

"What do you think so far? They are just taking a short break," she touched his forearm to get his attention because he was looking around the room.

"Oh, I really like the atmosphere and the style of the band seems great. It seems like a lot of the people here already know them pretty well."

"Yeah, they play every Friday night here and Saturday night at another bar just a few blocks from here, so the locals know them pretty well. They are just struggling artists trying to find their way. I like them a lot."

"I can tell. When I walked up with the drinks, you were so into it." He smiled while putting his arm around the top of her chair.

"Oh, here we go. They are coming back on the stage," as she looked up from taking a sip of her drink.

They start playing and Kate sits up on the edge of her chair again. Castle places his arm around her back and leaves it at her right hip. She doesn't shy away or give him a glare at all. A part of him wonders if it is because she is preoccupied with the music right now to even care, but at this point he doesn't care either. The happiness he sees on her face is what he loves to see. She starts swaying to the music and as she does, there are other couples that get up to dance in the middle of the room. He places his hand on her back and she turns to meet his eyes, "Kate, do you want to dance?"

"Yes." He held out his hand for her to take and she grabbed it. She held onto his hand as he led her to the dance floor. She wrapped her left hand around to the back of his neck, playing with the collar of his shirt as she passed it with her fingers. She placed her right hand in his as they began to sway in the dark room. He placed his right hand on the small of her back and brought her into him close. She hummed to the music, with her warm breath warming his neck; the opening where his buttons were undone to his shirt. The music played on and he looked down at her. Her eyes were closed and she was taking in every tone, melody, harmony there was to the song. It was beautiful to watch her and he imagined that this is how she would be while she was sleeping. The song came to a soft ending and they didn't part right away. He held her now and a light hug, her eyes finally opened to look up at him. "Thank you for the dance." She said and smiled.

"I should be saying that to you. They really are a great band. Thank you for inviting me to come with you." They headed back to their table. They danced a few more times, had another drink and then Castle walked Kate back to her apartment.

**A/N: Please go and review. It is much appreciated because I only write for your enjoyment and to release things idea running in my head. I'd hate for them to be trapped in there.  
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	3. Chapter 3

**First, my apologies for their being such a gap in between chapters. I will type up a summary for you all for a refresher.**

**Summary: Kate has a new hobby that she is working on through her therapist. Also, Castle is a huge supporter of her in general, but also of her hobby as well. This takes place just after Linchpin present day kind of and before both of their secrets come out. I'm trying to make it about her hobby, but I've got to tell the story to keep it true to the storyline of the show some what. Last chapter, Castle and Kate went to a local club to see a local band perform. They did dance and have a great time. Now they are back at Kate's apartment that same night.**

**A/N: I don't own Castle. I still cry myself to sleep every night.**

Kate and Rick are standing outside Kate's apartment after coming from the bar.

Kate turns to face him after placing her key in her door to start to unlock the door, "Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah sure."

She unlocks the door, open it and he follows her inside.

"So what did you think of the band? Not bad for a local start up band, huh?"

"It was great. They were really great."

He paused to take his coat off and put it on the back of the chair at the table. Castle wasn't shy at Beckett's apartment. He felt quite at home.

"You know? Kate?" he stopped. "No, never mind you wouldn't go for it."

"Well how do you know if you don't tell me?"

"Well I was just thinking that maybe as a challenge you could learn some songs for a set list. Then you could play at The Old Haunt."

"What? No! That's crazier then your wild theories on cases, Castle."

"Oh come on. You can do it. Heck, maybe Espo and Ryan will join you and you can make a little acoustic band. I was thinking of having some entertainment on the weekends especially, so you should think about it? It was just an idea."

"Really? I mean, I've always wanted to be about to be comfortable to perform in front of people and I'm definitely not there yet, but..." she stopped and smiled while holding her chin thinking about it. She thought to herself that it might not be a bad idea and after all. This is her new outlet, her new hobby and she can do with it what she wants. "I'll think about it and most of all keep practicing," she smiled over at him. "Thank you."

He reaches over to grab her hand and he caresses it in his own. She doesn't pull away this time and they both sit there in silence for quite awhile. He finally dares to look over at her to make some form of eye contact, so he can read her. She is doing the same thing that he was doing, staring at the floor in front of her.

"Hey, penny for your thoughts?" he says to her while looking at her to get a reaction. He squeezes her hand in his to bring her back to Earth.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she finally makes that contact with his blue eyes, "I was just thinking."

"Yeah, I gathered. Do you care to share with me?"

"I'm not usually direct about what I am thinking, but yeah I think I do want to share with you," she said looking at him. He wasn't sure, but he was little worried about how her face went to a serious and scared look at the same time.

"You don't have to, Kate. I was just asking to make conversation," she stopped him.

"No, I want to tell you something about me, about the shooting, my feelings because you are really important to me and you deserve to know." She rattled it off and then stopped to take a breath. She turned to him on the couch. "I don't know where to begin, but I want to fill in some of the gaps between you and me."

"Gaps? What gaps? I'm confused."

"Castle, Rick just let me tell you, okay?"

"Okay, go ahead, what is it that I possibly can't know about you?" he smiled, but she didn't smile back.

"Ok, I've been going to a therapist ever since the shooting."

"Ok, that is normal, right? I mean, what is wrong with that?"

"Nothing." She just wanted him to know. At first, going to the therapist made her feel weak and pathetic, but now she saw it as an outlet for all the things that she used to close up inside. Now she is finding ways to make better relationships, have friends, have a hobby and allow herself to love and hopefully be loved.

"Ok, the second thing was the shooting. You don't have to talk about it, but if it makes you feel better to talk about it I'm always here."

She just looked at him being all relaxed and he kept smiling at her. "Can you stop smiling at me because I might loose my nerve to tell you?"

"Why?"

"Because you are so happy and relaxed, after I tell you this you probably will have a different reaction," she looked down at her hands. One still placed in his feeling warm and the other on her thigh.

"Kate," he moved his hand under her chin to get her to look into his eyes. "You can tell me anything and I will never be mad at you. I can't ever stay mad at you for long, even when you are always wanting to be right, always stubborn or always wanting to be first," he smiled at her and laughed at his joke.

She laughed. "And you laugh at my jokes."

"I hope you realize that you are very important to me and the reason this is so difficult to tell you is because I don't want to hurt you and I didn't want to hurt you," she began to tear up and choke on her words. She grabbed both of his hands and with her last breath she thought she had she told him, "I remember everything from that day."

There is a pause and she is looking into his eyes, which normally is when she would look away or try to make an exit because what she thought would come would break her into pieces. His reaction wasn't at all what she was expecting. A tear fell from her eye and began making a trail down her face, but his finger was like a dam stops the direction of the tear. He wiped her cheek with still a pleased look on his face.

She is still confused by his look so she says, "Did you hear me? I remember everything from that day."

"I did hear you."

"Well don't you have anything to say?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I don't know _**exactly **_you remember from that day. I know what I remember from that day, but tell me what you remember."

She glared back at him. "Castle, this isn't a joke."

"I'm not joking, but if you are going to work on being direct you need to tell me what you remember from that day. Tell me what happened, Kate."

She wrangled up her face because she hated when he was right, but he actually was right. How can there relationship grow if she can't actually tell him what she remembers happening that day. "Ok, I hate to admit when you are right."

"Yes, we've established that you hate being wrong," she pushed on his chest and he grabbed her hands and held them. "I'm sorry, go ahead."

"I remember looking at you while making my speech at the podium. I didn't hear the gunshot, but when it hit me it took the wind right out of me. I remember falling backwards and hearing people screaming, chaos in the background and I remember you trying to save me…" she paused, "and that whole summer that was something I was so mad at you for because if something had happened to you because of me I would never forgive myself. I couldn't live with that."

"Kate, I'm your partner and I know I am not a cop, but I've invested in _**this, us**_ and it is probably wrong to…wait, I will explain that after. That isn't all you remember from that day. Continue."

She thought that she would get him talking and he would leave it alone, but either way he was probably going to be direct and ask her or come clean about his feelings anyway because that seems where he was headed.

"Okay, you are right. I remember one last thing and I'm sorry for holding onto it for so long. I, I remember you asking me to stay with you and I remember you telling me you loved me, Castle. I remember." She started to cry and she leaned into his arms. He cradled her in his arms like that for a few moments until she calmed down a bit. He was a little taken back by her being so upset, but let her catch her breath.

He then spoke while he head was still in his chest, "Kate, I do want you to stay with me. Always remember. Can you look at me?" She lifted her head to face him with gloss over her eyes still. He moved her hair behind her ear and he gave her a small grin. "I want you to stay with me. Always, friends, partners, best friends and I do love you. I've probably made so many mistakes in my life, but that was a mistake I could never live with. If I never got the chance to tell you that, it would be the biggest mistake I've ever made. I've known that you remembered what I told you because I had an idea, a feeling I guess. But that doesn't matter now. What matters and how we move forward? I don't want to go backwards anymore. I want to move forward with you, Kate."

"Aren't you mad though? I mean, I left for the whole summer and I didn't call you. That must have been awful because I felt awful the whole time. You were all I thought about and I don't know how many times I picked up the phone to call you or how many times my father threatened me that he was driving me back to the city because he didn't want me to sit moping, staring outside the window."

"Well I won't lie to you. It was the toughest summer I've experienced, but as much as I can be selfish and only think of myself and my feelings…well, Alexis, my wise daughter told me to put myself in your shoes and trying to think about how you were feeling. So I did just that. I actually did some research with people that had been shot and got to see how it made them feel. It actually helped me to understand and helped me cope with it. I finally was able to finish my book and I didn't forget about you for one second. I was just waiting for your call. Once I got to see you, well as you can see like I said earlier. I can never stay mad at you for long. That lasted for all of twenty minutes and then we were partners again." He grinned at her still holding her hands.

"You are truly something, Castle."

"Ha, tell me about it. My mother tells me that all the time. Come to think of it. Alexis does too."

She laughs, "No, you really are something. You are something that doesn't exist in the human race. I mean, I don't even know what to say. You are a good man, friend, partner…I don't know."

"Keep going," he laughs because she smiling and the tears are dry, the frowns are gone and the worry in her eyes.

"Actually there is one more thing I do need to tell you," she smiled at him.

"Really? I think I've pulled back all the layers of the Beckett onion, so what else do you have hiding up your sleeve?" He winked at her.

"Well I want to tell you how I feel. This will probably come out as a complete mess. I'm not good at expressing myself like you, writer. Well the whole summer wasn't a total loss because I did some soul searching within myself. I'm still not completely good at sharing with others about my feelings, but while I was gone I miss you, Castle. I missed you coming to me with advice about Alexis. I missed your jokes, your smile, your support, our friendship and our partnership. I realized that I needed you, but I didn't know in what capacity I needed you in. And despite what you may think, Yoda I guarantee I can still shock you." She looked at him with a pleased, yet sarcastic look. "What you deserve to know is that, I love you too."


End file.
